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Monday, 23 December 2013

My plea to parents

Monday, 23 December 2013 - 0 Comments


I don't usually do this.. Maybe i am still a little disturbed by what i saw today.
A child about 3 or 4 years old. I think was lost in a mall.
This time of year.. When its too busy..
Now.. I am from South Africa.
And even going to a mall this time of year..
Just before christmas..
Oh the nerves...
Seriously.. what did that parent think.. Nothing can happen??
In this life.. where we hear of BABIES raped.. 4 or even 6 weeks old..
The ignorance.. Is so bad..
I actually believe you should know where your child is.. All the time..
I know very well that many say it cant happen to me.. Happens to others.. but you know.. for the one next to you.. you are the other person.. and yes it can happen to you..
Maybe this is my plea to parents to know where your child is..
To be a little more careful..
Especially now when things are so much busier ..
You don't know the others walking in the mall..
And it takes one moment..
Just one moment..
And honestly that scares me..
As a parent you cant make mistakes..
Not when it comes to your kids.. 
Sorry doesn't make everything right..
Rather be careful and aware of dangers than thinking cant happen to you..

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Without These Things

Sunday, 22 December 2013 - 0 Comments

 

Without These Things

Without winter, there can be no spring

Without mistakes, there can be no learning

Without doubts, there can be no faith

Without fears, there can be no courage

My mistakes, my fears, and my doubts are my

Path to wisdom, faith and courage.

Writing On The Wall


Writing On The Wall

A weary mother returned from the store,
Lugging groceries through the kitchen door.
Awaiting her arrival was her 8 year old son,
Anxious to relate what his younger brother had done.

"While I was out playing and Dad was on a call,
T.J. took his crayons and wrote on the wall!
It's on the new paper you just hung in the den.
I told him you'd be mad at having to do it again."

She let out a moan and furrowed her brow,
"Where is your little brother right now?"
She emptied her arms and with a purposeful stride,
She marched to his closet where he had gone to hide.

She called his full name as she entered his room.
He trembled with fear--he knew that meant doom!
For the next ten minutes, she ranted and raved
About the expensive wallpaper and how she had saved.

Lamenting all the work it would take to repair,
She condemned his actions and total lack of care.
The more she scolded, the madder she got,
Then stomped from his room, totally distraught!

She headed for the den to confirm her fears.
When she saw the wall, her eyes flooded with tears.
The message she read pierced her soul with a dart.
It said, "I love Mommy," surrounded by a heart.

Well, the wallpaper remained, just as she found it,
With an empty picture frame hung to surround it.
A reminder to her, and indeed to all,
Take time to read the handwriting on the wall

You Are My Hero

 

You Are My Hero

Of all those I've met on this journey we call life,
You are my hero, you taught me how to love.
I was such a mess when you came along,
but you looked past all my faults and
looked into my soul. You saw the sadness there
that others could not see. I was afraid to trust
but you taught me to believe.

You took away my frown and replaced it with a smile.
You taught me that living could really be worth while.
We can't go back in time and tomorrow may not come,
so make the most of the moments
and let someone know they're loved.

I can see good in others that I never saw before,
because you saw good in me
I didn't even know was there.
It takes a special person to look past others faults
and find something there to love.
That's what makes heroes.

Break out of a relationship rut for good


Couple kissing on date
No matter how hot and heavy things may have started off, all relationships eventually have ups and downs. It might feel like cause for alarm, but there are things you can do to bust boredom and rekindle romance.

Spice things up with your spouse

Take a look at our top tips for getting out of a relationship rut -- for good.

Maximize the mundane

The stress of life – long days, epic to-do lists and endless piles of laundry – can often stifle the spark in your relationship, but we suggest taking the mundane and making it fun. Too often we do things separately in an attempt to get them done more efficiently, but we lose our togetherness in the process. Instead of toiling away solo, get chores done together! Turn on music you both love and clean the house together, work on the bills together and run errands as a pair. That way you can catch up while you work (especially important if you haven't had much time to talk lately).

Be spontaneous

If you want to shake up a rut, you need to embrace change. Many people see change as a stressor, but it's often just what a relationship needs to feel new. It doesn't have to be extreme (a new job, a new baby, a new living location). It can be as simple as one of you having a new hobby, eating out at a different place or both of you trying a cuisine you swear you don't like. If you are open to new experiences, you will have more to experience with one another, and a lot more to talk about as a result.

Continue to date -- regularly

As relationships develop, the dating stage (complete with flowers, candles, dinners out and long periods spent gazing into each other's eyes) tends to lead to a stage where both people stop trying to woo one another -- which can quickly turn into a rut. Reserve a night a week that is just for you. Make a big deal out of it. Spend this night -- whether you go out or stay in -- focused on each other in a way that you haven't been since the beginning stages of your relationship.

Ditch distractions

No cell phone
How many times have you sat in the same room as the person you love and not exchanged one word? If you spend more time bonding with your Blackberries than with each other, it's time to disconnect in order to reconnect. Eat dinner together and don't bring electronics to the table. Tune into each other and tune out from reading material, your phone and your iPad. In the evenings, spend 15 to 20 minutes plugging into each other every night, unplugged from the internet, TV and other electronic distractions.

Ways to keep the chemistry alive

Couple kissing
Chemistry is usually the first thing that draws you to someone new and then you build a deeper relationship from there (if you click on multiple levels). But once you’ve been together for a while, that elusive chemistry can fade.

Spark up your love

If you’re feeling like the spark is on its way out, don’t panic. We’re here to help you get it back.

Stay curious

One thing that helps to create chemistry is that element of the unknown that comes with meeting and getting to know someone new. Every day is an adventure in learning about this new person you’re spending time with. Once you’ve been together for a while, there’s less and less to learn. Or at least that’s how it seems. Keep chemistry going strong by staying curious about each other. Continue asking questions and making an effort to find out new things about one another.

Be open to change

Relationships have a tendency to shift and change, but resisting that change and trying to keep things the same can be an instant chemistry-killer. Nothing is meant to stay the same (that can lead to a rut. See below), so the best thing you can do to avoid seeing your spark disappear is to go with the flow. Be open to new directions your relationship might head in or different sides of your significant other that are only now just appearing. You never know; those changes might lead to something even better.

Steer clear of a rut

Relationship ruts are like kryptonite to chemistry. One little rut has the power to take down chemistry with a single swipe, which isn’t good for anyone. Protect your passion by doing what you can to avoid falling into the dreaded rut. Try new things, set goals together, travel as a twosome, and forgo routine for spontaneity whenever possible.

Focus on the positive

When you meet someone new, it’s easy to only focus on their positive points because that’s all you see. Once some time has passed, you start seeing some not-so-positive traits pop up. The key here is to find a balance. No one is perfect, but the sooner you start focusing on the things that bug you about your guy, the faster that chemistry is going to fade. We’re not suggesting letting large issues slide (like he never pulls his weight or helps out), but if there are little things that irk you, don’t make those your focal point. Instead, think about what you love about him and what drew you to him in the first place.

Stay affectionate

It’s amazing how quickly the spark can come back with a bit of affection. You don’t have to be glued to your partner at all times, but holding hands, shoulder rubs, a hand through the hair and a spontaneous kiss can go a long way toward keeping chemistry going strong.

Easy ways to make more time for each other


Couple exercising together
Finding quality couple time isn’t always easy and sometimes it can feel downright impossible to eke out even an evening to relax together.

Couple time tips

If you’re dealing with a serious time-crunch burdening your bonding time, we have some simple ways to make sure you see each other despite hectic schedules.

Work out as a couple

Rather than working out separately all the time, try to find a way to get active together at least once a week. Even if you both go to different gyms or like different activities, make one workout a week a joint sweat session. Go jogging together, go for an extra-long walk after dinner or take him to one of your favorite classes as a way to bond as you burn calories.

Implement tech-free time

You’d be surprised at just how much time you do have together that ends up being eaten up by gadgets. So one of the easiest ways to build in more couple time is to give the tech toys a break. Whether it’s 20 minutes or an hour, come up with a suitable amount of time to put your phones and laptops away and just focus on each other.

Run errands together

It might not sound like any fun, but hitting the grocery store or garden center together can be an easy way to spend more time together. Not to mention, any chore you do together will be more enjoyable than tackling it solo.

Do lunch

No, it’s not a romantic dinner date at a fancy restaurant, but if you both work in the city or relatively close to one another, use your lunch break to catch up. Meet at a spot equidistant from your workplaces and enjoy a quick meal together. Even doing this once a week is a great way to stay connected and feel like you get to see each other regularly.

Hire help

If all else fails, you might want to consider hiring a babysitter once or twice a month (or asking your parents to watch the kids) so you can ensure some alone time. Or, hire a cleaning service so you’re not using potential together time to sweep and mop.

More relationship tips

Is kissing on the decline?

Couple kissing
The simple kiss holds a prominent place in art, literature and the minds of teens who haven't yet had their first — but have we, as adults, lost our appreciation of lip-on-lip action?

How to reclaim the
lost art of the smooch

We asked a couple of experts how to put the kiss back on its rightful pedestal.
As a culture, Americans put a lot of emphasis on having the best sex possible, but in the pursuit of hot lovemaking, is it possible that we've forgotten how great kissing can be?
"Kissing is the physical manifestation of how much you care about each other."
"Kissing is often something that you naturally want to do when you are excited to spend time with someone," says dating coach and flirting expert Tracey Steinberg. "But when people start taking each other for granted, they can let kissing fall by the wayside. Unfortunately, the longer and more secure the relationship is, the more likely this is to happen."
But kissing is crucial for both personal well-being and the health of your relationship.
"Kissing has powerful health benefits: reducing anxiety, building self-esteem, enhancing connection with another person, lowering cortisol levels, the list goes on and on," Dr. Karim says. "It's important to kiss because it's good for you and it's good for the relationship. It's relationship glue and makes you feel like you aren't alone in the world."
Here's how you can bring back the art of the kiss in your relationship... or enjoy a kiss with a new lover to the fullest.

Leave your worries at the door

"The biggest anxiety about kissing that interferes with passionate kissing is insecurities about being a passionate kisser!" says Steinberg. "The best thing to do is to act as if you are a confident kisser and just enjoy being so physically close to this sexy man."

Don't overthink it

The key to bringing back a passionate kiss in a relationship might be relaxing rather than making a mental note to "kiss more." Letting your feelings bubble to the surface is a recipe for a great kiss, not being a pro when it comes to technique.
"Let it come naturally," says Dr. Karim. "Thinking too much can make it awkward. It's not mechanical — it's an expression of your inner feelings for another person."

Enjoy that first kiss

There might be nothing in this world fraught with more delicious anticipation than a first kiss. If you want a great first peck with a new partner, go with your gut and let your heart lead.
"A great first kiss happens long before your lips meet," Steinberg says. "It is the way you look at his lips and the way you look into his eyes. Perhaps you say something authentically sweet such as how much you enjoy your time with him or how attractive he is. Then you lean in, close your eyes, keep your lips soft and kiss him gently on the lips."

Change up the pace

If you've been smooching your man for years now, or if you've crossed that first kiss milestone, you can still make kissing interesting:
"Kissing is best when there is some variety, so... alternate between fast and slow, soft and hard, deep and shallow kissing," Steinberg says. "You'll also want to take some breaks while you are kissing to look into his eyes and whisper something sweet in his ear. Also, always let him know how much you are enjoying the kiss and caress his face while you are kissing him."

Remember why kissing is special

Even if every kiss you share with your partner doesn't leave you weak-kneed, that's okay. Remember the reason you're getting so close to this person in the first place.
"Kissing is the physical manifestation of how much you care about each other," Steinberg says. "It is a way, without words, to show him your affection. Entering someone's personal space is very intimate and it is what separates romantic relationships from friendships."
Having more romance in our lives: Yes, please!

Saturday, 21 December 2013

THE ICE CREAM PRAYER

Saturday, 21 December 2013 - 0 Comments

ice cream 
THE ICE CREAM PRAYER
 
Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."
"Really?" my son asked.
"Cross my heart." Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already."

The Pretty One

cocker spaniel puppy 

The Pretty One


This was the last litter of puppies we were going to allow our Cocker Spaniel to have. It had been a very long night for me. Precious, our only black cocker, was having a very difficult time with the delivery of her puppies.
I laid on the floor beside her large four-foot square cage, watching her every movement. Watching and waiting just in case we had to rush her to the veterinarian.
After six hours the puppies started to appear. The first born was a black and white party dog. The second and third puppies were tan and brown in color. The fourth and fifth were also spotted black and white. "One, two, three, four, five," I counted to myself as I walked down the hallway to wake up Judy and tell her that everything was fine. As we walked back down the hallway and into the spare bedroom, I noticed a sixth puppy had been born and was now laying all by itself over to the side of the cage. I picked up the small puppy and laid it on top of the
large pile of puppies, who were whining and trying nurse on the mother.
Instantly Precious pushed the small puppy away from rest of the group and refused to recognize it as a member of her family.
"Something's wrong," said Judy.
I reached over and picked up the puppy. My heart sank inside my chest when I saw the little puppy was hare-lipped and could not close its little mouth. We had gone through this once before last year with another one of our cockers. That experience like to have killed me when the puppy died and I had to bury it. If there was any way to save this animal I was going to give it my best shot.
All the puppies born that night, with the exception of the small hare-lipped pup, were very valuable because of their unusual coloring. Most would bring between five to seven hundred dollars each. The next day I took the puppy to the vet. I was told nothing could be done unless we were willing to spend about a thousand dollars to try and correct the defect. He told us that the puppy would die mainly because it could not suckle.
After returning home Judy and I decided that we could not afford to spend that kind of money without getting some type of assurances from the vet that the puppy had a chance to live. However, that did not stop me from purchasing a syringe and feeding the puppy by hand. Which I did very day and night, every two hours, for more than ten days.
The fifth week I placed an ad in the newspaper, and within a week we had taken deposits on all of the pups, except the one with the deformity. The little guy had learned to eat on his own as long as it was soft canned food.
Late that afternoon I had gone to the store to pick up a few groceries. Upon returning I happened to see the old retired school teacher, who lived across the street from us, waving at me. She had read in the paper that we had puppies for sale and was wondering if she might buy one from us for her grandson. I told her all the puppies had been sold, but I would keep my eyes open for anyone else who might have a cocker spaniel for sale. I also mentioned we never kept a deposit should someone change their mind, and if so I would let her know. Within days all but one of the puppies had been picked up by their new owners. This left me with
one brown and tan cocker as well as the smaller hare-lipped puppy.
Two days passed without me hearing anything from the gentleman, who had placed a deposit on the tan and brown pup. So I telephoned the school teacher and told her I had one puppy left and that she was welcome to come and look at it. She advised me that she was going to pick up her grandson and would come over at about eight o'clock that evening. Judy and I were eating supper when we heard a knock on the front door. When I opened the door, the man, who had placed a $100 deposit on the dog, was standing there. We walked inside where I filled out the paperwork, he paid me the balance of the money, and I handed him the puppy.
Judy and I did not know what to do or say if the teacher showed up with her grandson. Sure enough at exactly eight o'clock the doorbell rang. I opened the door, and there was the school teacher with her grandson standing behind her. I explained to her the man had come for the puppy just an hour before, and there were no puppies left.
"I'm sorry, Jeffery. They sold all the puppies," she told her grandson.
Just at that moment, the small puppy left in the bedroom began to yelp.
"My puppy! My puppy!" yelled the little boy as he ran out from behind his grandmother.
I just about fell over when I saw the small child was hare-lipped. The boy ran past me as fast as he could, down the hallway to where the puppy was still yelping.
When the three of us made it to the bedroom, the small boy was holding the puppy in his arms. He looked up at his grandmother and said, "Look Grandma. They sold all the puppies except the pretty one, and he looks just like me."
Well, old Grandma wasn't the only one with tears in her eyes that day. Judy and I stood there, not knowing what to do.
"Is this puppy for sale?" asked the school teacher.
"My grandma told me these kind of puppies are real expensive and that I have to take real good care of it," said the little boy, who was now hugging the puppy.
"Yes, ma'am. This puppy is for sale."
The lady opened her purse, and I could see several one-hundred dollar bills sticking out of her wallet. I reached over and pushed her hand back down into her purse so that she would not pull her wallet out.
"How much do you think this puppy is worth?" I asked the boy.
"About a dollar?" He replied.
"No. This puppy is very, very expensive... More than a dollar," I told him.
"I'm afraid so." Said his grandmother.
The boy stood there pressing the small puppy against his cheek.
"We could not possibly take less than two dollars for this puppy," Judy said, squeezing my hand. "Like you said, "It's the pretty one." She continued.
The school teacher took out two dollars and handed it to the young boy.
"It's your dog now, Jeffery. You pay the man."
I think it must be a wonderful feeling for any young person to look at their selves into the mirror and see nothing, except "The pretty one."

Twinkies and Root Beer



Twinkies and Root Beer


A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.
When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons.
The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.
The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.
Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.
As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?
"He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? God's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"
Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked," Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"
He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added," You know, he's much younger than I expected."
People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Embrace all equally!

5 Secrets to keeping the man you love


Happy couple hugging
As women, we love love. We are taught from a very young age that being in love is a defining factor but, unfortunately, many women lose the men they love because they are too in love with love and not in love enough with themselves.

Why you should
love yourself first

Put your life first and establish a social life outside of the relationship.
The quickest way to lose a man’s interest is to make him your number one priority. This is not attractive to men who inherently need, desire and want a challenge. Too many women give up their lives for their man and in doing this they become uninteresting. Keep your lives ladies. You have wonderful lives, friends and passions. Never sacrifice those things for a relationship. The more full you are and the more you love yourself, the more your man will love you too.
1

Break routine

We are all creatures of habit and familiarity can feel really good. But don't allow your relationship to get stagnant by always doing what you think your boyfriend wants. Be committed to your life first and then fit him in. This will make you much happier as a person and more attractive to him.
2

Be confident and turn away from him at times

"To keep your man interested you have to be interesting."
If you feel your man is becoming distant or not as interested, this is a sign that he is becoming bored in the relationship. If he is bored and you check yourself, you will probably see that you are also bored, so all it takes is a little turning away from him, be a little aloof and he will come looking for you. Remember, men are like cats, if you ignore them, they will come and purr at your feet but if you constantly give them attention, they will go away into a solitary place.
3

Know when to stop talking

Many women live by “communication.” This floods the simple male brain. Men are very basic in the way they think, as science shows, they only use one half of the brain where women have access to both halves. We are designed differently, so we as women need to learn to respect this. Silence allows your man to realize that something may be wrong and this will get him curious enough to ask, which is what you want — then keep it simple.
4

Don’t chase him

As the old adage states, whatever you chase will run away. Women get needy and desperate and they end up chasing their men. This is not attractive and it shows that you do not value yourself. If you love yourself and you value who you are, then there is no need to chase anyone. Stay contained. If he is pulling away, ignore him. Give him space and he will think. He will also see that you are not in “need” of him and this will pull him back to you.
5

The bottom line

To keep your man interested, you have to be interesting. To be interesting, you must be passionate about your life, your career, your friends, your children and your hobbies. A great mistake is to make your man your hobby.
A little life message: Love yourself first, love him next and you will have great success.

Small gestures that can improve your marriage

It's The Little Things
That Count

It’s easy to forget about little niceties when you’re stressed out and overwhelmed with everyday life. But if you forget about the small things too often, you could be sending your marriage down the path of no return. Check out these small gestures that can help improve your marriage.
Couple holding hands in cafe

1Say "please."

Anything without a "please" at the end of it sounds like a demand. One word may not seem like it should make much difference, but you'll be surprised at how much your significant other will appreciate your asking nicely for something, rather than demanding it.

2Say "thank you."

Like adding "please" to the end of every request, following up by thanking your spouse is equally as important. It shows your partner you've noticed what he's done for you, and you appreciate his effort. Using those two little words can make a big difference in the ongoing health of your marriage.

3Ask his opinion.

Rather than just telling him what movie you've rented or where the two of you are going on Saturday afternoon, make him part of the decision-making process. You don't have to ask his permission or wait to make small choices until he weighs in -- but asking what he'd like to do or where he wants to eat once in a while will help make him feel like part of a team, rather than an island.

4Show affection.

We're not talking lengthy make-out sessions or full body massages, but rather the small signs of affection that will make him feel loved. Hold his hand in line at the grocery store, give him a hug when he walks in the door, or lean on him when you're on the couch watching a movie. Small signs of affection will not only make him feel good, but also will benefit you, as well.

More guy advice

Understanding the dude

De-stressing for couples

Relax With Your Honey During The Holidays

It's no secret: The holidays are probably one of the most stressful times of the year. From going in and out of malls where crazy shoppers run amok to planning family dinners - which are intimidating enough for those who have in-laws - couples need to de-stress more than ever. You can do it together or do it separately. But whatever you decide, for heaven's sakes, try to relax! Not sure how? Read on for our de-stressing tips for couples...
Couple in Bath Drinking Wine

Divvy up the work

From fulfilling what's on the holiday gift list to preparing food for the family, it's important that you and your honey split up the roles. Failing to do your part will make the other one disgruntled. The last thing you want is an argument during the cheery holiday season. Derail any love spats by making lists that define who's responsible for what. And keep things as even as possible. If you and your beau are still in the beginning stages of your relationship, you're in luck. Instead of divvying up tasks, try to divvy up where you go, when and how often. Fairness is key.

Take a bubble bath

Splash around and play with bubbles alone or together. Prepare a bath for yourself and/or your beau — if that doesn't bring on the holiday cheer, we don't know what else will.  To make the bath experience even more relaxing, light some candles, drop in some bath oils or use aromatherapy. Studies show that scents like lavender and eucalyptus soothe the mind, body and soul.

Give each other relaxing massages

Odds are, money will be a little tight during the holiday season, so you and your hubby should probably stay away from luxurious spas. But who says you can't bring the spa experience into your home? Get the Aromofloria Less Massage Oil, and give your man a rub down at the end of a long day. After he puts up the holiday lights outside, he'll be grateful for a tension release.

Have sex

The physical benefits of sex are tremendous. Not only is it a form of exercise — hey, it beats going to the gym! — it's also known to relieve stress. Doing so also lowers blood pressure, which means results in less anxiety. Researchers from Scotland, in fact, reported the following findings in the Biological Psychology journal: After studying the sexual activity of 24 women and 22 men, they found those who had intercourse were more relaxed during stressful situations. Frequent intercourse is also associated with lower diastolic blood pressure.

Keep your distance

Although time together during the holidays is fun, some time alone can be beneficial, too. If your partner is around when things get harried, you'll likely take things out on him. When you're most stressed, take some time and do your thing alone. That way, you won't get mad at each other for no reason.

5 Ways to re-fall in love

Keep The
Sparks Alive

Remember when the very sight of your guy made you weak in the knees? The days when you completed each other's sentences and sealed it with a kiss? The times when his best interest was always top of mind? If those days seem distant, don't worry: You are not alone.
Couple dancing at home
Losing those warm and fuzzy feelings is easy as time rolls on and life becomes hectic or routine. But if you want a long and fulfilling marriage (of course, you do!), it is mission critical to keep those sparks alive.

Here are 5 ways to find and keep that loving feeling!

1


Write a love letter.

Put pen to paper and pour out your cheesy little heart into a sentimental love letter. Tell your sweetie why and how much you love him – what your life is like because he is in it, what you envision for the future, etc. Make sure you include all of your favorite things about him and about your relationship, and be as specific as possible: Details really feed a guy's ego!

2Celebrate your successes -- even the little ones!

A major component of a loving marriage is being each other's biggest fan -- acknowledging triumphs and efforts big and small. So next time your honey nails a pitch at work, his favorite baseball team wins a big game, he finally matches his brown shoes with his brown belt, or you two meet a monthly financial goal, uncork the champagne and toast to your success!

3have a Blast from the past.

Revisit all of your most special moments through stories, or better yet, through visits. Reenact your first date, proposal, even your first silly fight. Dance to your wedding song, recreate your honeymoon vibe, remember how you felt when you brought home your first child. Love is intrinsic to all of your precious memories, and when you transport yourself back to those times, you will fall back in love instantly.

4Surprise your spouse!

Surprises are indicators that you are still mindful of your honey after all these years -- and in fact, the little surprises hold the most weight. So, pickup his favorite college beer and put it on ice for game day, unexpectedly wear the ridiculous sexy outfit he always begs you to wear that you can't stand, or get the neighbor kid to mow the lawn so he doesn't have to on his day off. Doing kind things unexpectedly shows your husband that you have him top of mind and heart!

5Re-up the romance.


Just because you swapped "I do's" and maybe even popped out a few kids doesn't mean that your courting days are over. Consider romantic dates. Think rose petal baths and sunrise picnics. Consider romantic gestures such as packing an "I love you" note in his briefcase. Eventually, he will catch romance fever and begin returning your sentiments.

How to grow as a couple

Getting Better Together

Once you’ve been dating for a while (a year or more), the need to do everything together starts to fade. The focus shifts slowly back to individual ambitions and priorities, rather than couple-oriented goals. We all need our own purposes in life, but growing not only as an individual but also as a couple can be good for your relationship. Here’s how.
Couple on adventure vacation
1


Take a trip together.

We're not talking a one-week all-inclusive vacation, but rather something that requires a bit more work. You don't have to stay in hostels for a month, but traveling and going somewhere out of your comfort zone forces you to work as a team to overcome hurdles (missed connections, language barriers) and make the best of even difficult situations.


2Volunteer together.

Whether you serve meals at a soup kitchen or help build houses with Habitat for Humanity, volunteering together can bring you closer and make you feel good about yourselves. Not only will you help others, but you'll also do something positive for your relationship.

3Learn something new.

Like traveling together, tackling new challenges takes you out of your comfort zone and can be very rewarding. Learn a new language, take up a sport neither of you have tried before, or get creative and take an art or photography class. Whatever you choose will be a bonding experience and something that will help you grow together.

4Set a mutual goal.

When you first fell in love, you probably had a list miles long of things you were going to do together. Whether it's running a half-marathon, learning to surf or climbing Kilimanjaro, take some time to come up with a mutual goal and create a plan to make it happen.

A Thousand Marbles

 
A Thousand Marbles


The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the study with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it. I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net.
 
 
Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital." He continued, "Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."

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